Computerization!!!!

Congragulations, Heroes!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:02:00 -0500

Very impressive that a team with twice the payroll of their nearest competitor can win the championship every once in a while. Way to go(!) for not failing this year.

Professor Dean Dogson, chair of the department of smellology and...

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 12:03:01 -0500

Professor Dean Dogson, chair of the department of smellology and food studies

Photo

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:55:25 -0500

pre game

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:58:30 -0400

thoughts as they start to almost play the world series

is that Gen. Odierno’s son throwing out the first pitch? They really couldn’t get him anything better than a motherfucking hook to replace his hand? I mean seriously.

Why does Tim McCarver still have a job?

turning into a cyborg

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:58:26 -0400

i am tired and was thinking “well of course i’m tired, i’m downloading food for the first time all day.”

Right now in Brendans basement. They’re called the Seedy...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 21:58:00 -0400

Right now in Brendans basement. They’re called the Seedy Seeds. I liked them before i knew my friends knew them. Weird and cool to see them in the place i practice all the time. Also it was a good show. you should listen.

the people: they love me

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:31:40 -0400

so i became famous yesterday, with hottestheadsofstate.com getting links from many famous news organizations and our site getting 100,000 + hits. many people have now read my thingies, and the results are in!

“This article was written being addicted. what junk wrote it?”

“stupid article”

“The photo is more informative then this article. Derek should say nothing than that. His brain (if it exists?) is diseased obviously.”

“It’s a really very stupid article! I’m Ukrainian and I personally feel offensed by it.
I’m interested what kind of person wrote it and for what reasons..”

“It`s a terrible shit!!!!”

“I hope this is a joke. If I was Ukrainian I would be offended. Ukraine has a very high literacy rate.”

“What an #$^#&^ wrote this $#&$*. Did DEREK go to school??? American Alphabet????? Ukrainians can’t read???? Imbecile!”

“Such a bullshit!!”

“Jokes are really sucks”

““all blond, tall, and good and tennis” So Ukranians are shoes or balls or rackets or what?”

“Really stupid jokes, author hasn’t any imagination about Ukraine.”

“who wrote that stupid shit?”

“Kindda offensive…
It is suppose to be funny, u know.”

“Dear Derek,
yr jokes are toooo flat!
Or I could’nt understand your deeeeep thoughts?”

literally no one said anything nice about me. one person said kate was funny, and maybe thought i was kate. it’s hard: being famous.

welcome back to brooklyn ashley gates!

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:16:40 -0400

welcome back to brooklyn ashley gates!

LISTEN jesus christ (the indie band) // is this really what you want

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:57:00 -0400

LISTEN jesus christ (the indie band) // is this really what you want:

designage:

pretty sure that tao lin ≠ carles; regardless, that is one genius name for a band.

really awesome

go to google.com and type in "i like"

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:05:00 -0400

go to google.com and type in "i like":

designage:

enjoy.

dear kelsey = if you like i like you should check out last.fm if you haven’t already (which you probably have)

joshnissenboim: I almost bought this for me an Mason to hang on...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:05:56 -0400

joshnissenboim:

I almost bought this for me an Mason to hang on the fence behind where we are serving in our doubles matches. Note: The ball is raised and protruding from the plane. $19 and negotiable. If I get a big vote I’ll go get it tomorrow.

why would anyone not buy that for 19$

buy it and send it to me i’ll give you 20 + s/h

nfl goes pink this was so confusing to me. all the pink...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:02:56 -0400

nfl goes pink

this was so confusing to me. all the pink armbands and what-not had me changing the sharpness on my tv. i was sure it was turning red into pink.

another post about dumb shit pitchfork says

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:45:00 -0400

Sounds like a plot for a really bad movie?

…the cult sometimes forced his mother to prostitute herself. As a teenager, Owens fled and lived as a Texas gutter-punk for a while. Then a local millionaire took Owens under his wing, and Owens moved to San Francisco. There, he and Chet “JR” White formed Girls, and recorded Album, their debut album, under the influence of just about every kind of pill they could find.

The phrase “under the influence of just about every kind of pill they could find” seems to celebrate this obnoxiously cliche’d music-making “method.” (Speaking of cliche’s, making fun of Pitchfork on your blog no one reads is probably one of those, huh?) This isn’t surprising. Pitchfork loves bullshit, duh. What is surprising is how self-aware the author is not:

It’s the sort of story that can overwhelm a band so completely that you never really hear their music; you only hear the story.

Yeah, I sorta see… how someone… such as yourself… might think that way. Mr. Breihan goes on to call it “a dizzily powerful piece of work.” And there’s this:

knowing nothing about them beyond their compulsively listenable “Hellhole Ratrace” single, I wrote that the band’s music sounds “like the work of one deeply weird and possibly sad person.”

Possibly sad? Brilliant lyrics from tortured genius #5871 on the “compulsively listenable… single”:

I’m sick and tired of the way that I feel

I’m always dreaming and it’s never for real

I’m all alone with my deep thoughts

alone with my heartache

whoa dude. seriously though are we just being fucked with? are there hipsters out there grabbing poetry from middle school classrooms, making songs and attributing them to fake rockstars with engineered drug problems, giving said songs a good review and seeing if we’ll buy it? Seriously how can anyone put “I’m all alone with my deep thoughts” in a song and it not be a joke?

OK friends I’m sure I’ll delete this later on. I just like to share sometimes.

Subway Etiquette: The Art of Reading Over Someone's Shoulder

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:01:10 -0400

cosmopsis:

It’s easy to tell when someone is reading over your shoulder—you can feel it. There are different levels of permission when trying to read over someone’s shoulder. Depending on what is being read (or written), the rules may vary.

1) DAILY NEWSPAPERS - Free territory. Passengers sitting next to someone reading a newspaper may look on with the reader. Whenever I’ve read a free daily paper on the train, people usually look on with me. I even encourage them by opening the pages a little wider. My news is your news. We should all stay informed. We should share.

2) MAGAZINES - Look on at your own discretion. If it’s a fashion magazine, you’re looking at mostly advertisements. Harmless. But if the person is reading an article, it’s usually not worth it. If the article is confessional in any way, the person holding the magazine may get uncomfortable if they sense someone looking. If they’re reading The New Yorker, give up immediately.

3) NOVELS - It’s ok to quickly check out the author and title, if possible. The rules vary slightly on the L train because people often like to be noticed by what they’re reading (you’ll see a lot of Ayn Rand). But it’s sometimes fun to quickly read a sentence and look away, leaving the rest of the story up to your imagination. Like today, I was sitting next to a guy who was reading Specimen Days by Michael Cunningham, which I’ve never read. From a brief glance, I captured: And yet she drove on with relentless, orange-eyed focus. Lizard, he thought. Fucking lizard. And later: He saw her lipless mouth tighten. She was a lizard woman who wanted her own way. What is going on there? Who is this lizard woman? Now, if you really want to make yourself uncomfortable, try reading on with someone who is reading an erotic novel.

4) TEXT MESSAGES - Forbidden, but fun. If you see someone writing something like “Ok, just meet at my place at 8?” you’ll think “Hey, they try to make plans, just like me!”

5) CROSSWORD PUZZLES, GAMES, IPOD PLAYLISTS, ETC. - The person will likely be annoyed. We all have playlist anxiety.

6) PEN AND PAPER - Absolutely forbidden. Never try to read what someone is writing, even if it’s a grocery list. Don’t do it. Simply not allowed. However, it’s possible that the person may be writing you a note.

Good luck.

cllct.com is back

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:03:00 -0400

what is it? a website where a lot of people put music up for free. there are no requirements, anyone can post there, so obviously some of it is bad, but the not bad stuff is extra special because it’s secret. Like me! I was/am on there (or something). It was nice because people seemed to like it and it made me happy. it was not nice because i would get wasted and say stupid things on the internet, which everyone would read and then i would woke up all hungover and hate myself, which i probably would be doing anyway since i’d be broke, and vomiting.

makeup is magic

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:45:56 -0400

“A luxurious gel-cream that contains stem cells from the rare Uttweiler Spatlauber Swiss apple (so rare that only three trees remain in existence) to help delay the signs of chronological aging.”

chronologial aging. not to be confused with, um, that other kind of aging.

helenrice: randomate! seriously though i could use a sandwich

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:24:31 -0400

helenrice:

randomate!

seriously though i could use a sandwich

stuff we do

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 08:38:35 -0400

hottest heads of state

helenrice: It’s been a long night. i want this. does fuzco...

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:59:38 -0400

helenrice:

It’s been a long night.

i want this. does fuzco accept ebt?

the new google task list is very helpful to me

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 09:04:05 -0400

the new google task list is very helpful to me