Computerization!!!!

another post about dumb shit pitchfork says

Sounds like a plot for a really bad movie?

…the cult sometimes forced his mother to prostitute herself. As a teenager, Owens fled and lived as a Texas gutter-punk for a while. Then a local millionaire took Owens under his wing, and Owens moved to San Francisco. There, he and Chet “JR” White formed Girls, and recorded Album, their debut album, under the influence of just about every kind of pill they could find.

The phrase “under the influence of just about every kind of pill they could find” seems to celebrate this obnoxiously cliche’d music-making “method.” (Speaking of cliche’s, making fun of Pitchfork on your blog no one reads is probably one of those, huh?) This isn’t surprising. Pitchfork loves bullshit, duh. What is surprising is how self-aware the author is not:

It’s the sort of story that can overwhelm a band so completely that you never really hear their music; you only hear the story.

Yeah, I sorta see… how someone… such as yourself… might think that way. Mr. Breihan goes on to call it “a dizzily powerful piece of work.” And there’s this:

knowing nothing about them beyond their compulsively listenable “Hellhole Ratrace” single, I wrote that the band’s music sounds “like the work of one deeply weird and possibly sad person.”

Possibly sad? Brilliant lyrics from tortured genius #5871 on the “compulsively listenable… single”:

I’m sick and tired of the way that I feel

I’m always dreaming and it’s never for real

I’m all alone with my deep thoughts

alone with my heartache

whoa dude. seriously though are we just being fucked with? are there hipsters out there grabbing poetry from middle school classrooms, making songs and attributing them to fake rockstars with engineered drug problems, giving said songs a good review and seeing if we’ll buy it? Seriously how can anyone put “I’m all alone with my deep thoughts” in a song and it not be a joke?

OK friends I’m sure I’ll delete this later on. I just like to share sometimes.

Subway Etiquette: The Art of Reading Over Someone's Shoulder

cosmopsis:

It’s easy to tell when someone is reading over your shoulder—you can feel it. There are different levels of permission when trying to read over someone’s shoulder. Depending on what is being read (or written), the rules may vary.

1) DAILY NEWSPAPERS - Free territory. Passengers sitting next to someone reading a newspaper may look on with the reader. Whenever I’ve read a free daily paper on the train, people usually look on with me. I even encourage them by opening the pages a little wider. My news is your news. We should all stay informed. We should share.

2) MAGAZINES - Look on at your own discretion. If it’s a fashion magazine, you’re looking at mostly advertisements. Harmless. But if the person is reading an article, it’s usually not worth it. If the article is confessional in any way, the person holding the magazine may get uncomfortable if they sense someone looking. If they’re reading The New Yorker, give up immediately.

3) NOVELS - It’s ok to quickly check out the author and title, if possible. The rules vary slightly on the L train because people often like to be noticed by what they’re reading (you’ll see a lot of Ayn Rand). But it’s sometimes fun to quickly read a sentence and look away, leaving the rest of the story up to your imagination. Like today, I was sitting next to a guy who was reading Specimen Days by Michael Cunningham, which I’ve never read. From a brief glance, I captured: And yet she drove on with relentless, orange-eyed focus. Lizard, he thought. Fucking lizard. And later: He saw her lipless mouth tighten. She was a lizard woman who wanted her own way. What is going on there? Who is this lizard woman? Now, if you really want to make yourself uncomfortable, try reading on with someone who is reading an erotic novel.

4) TEXT MESSAGES - Forbidden, but fun. If you see someone writing something like “Ok, just meet at my place at 8?” you’ll think “Hey, they try to make plans, just like me!”

5) CROSSWORD PUZZLES, GAMES, IPOD PLAYLISTS, ETC. - The person will likely be annoyed. We all have playlist anxiety.

6) PEN AND PAPER - Absolutely forbidden. Never try to read what someone is writing, even if it’s a grocery list. Don’t do it. Simply not allowed. However, it’s possible that the person may be writing you a note.

Good luck.

cllct.com is back

what is it? a website where a lot of people put music up for free. there are no requirements, anyone can post there, so obviously some of it is bad, but the not bad stuff is extra special because it’s secret. Like me! I was/am on there (or something). It was nice because people seemed to like it and it made me happy. it was not nice because i would get wasted and say stupid things on the internet, which everyone would read and then i would woke up all hungover and hate myself, which i probably would be doing anyway since i’d be broke, and vomiting.

makeup is magic

“A luxurious gel-cream that contains stem cells from the rare Uttweiler Spatlauber Swiss apple (so rare that only three trees remain in existence) to help delay the signs of chronological aging.”

chronologial aging. not to be confused with, um, that other kind of aging.

stuff we do

hottest heads of state